Sitting Up, Eating Up and Spitting Up

I guess the title pretty much says it all for this post. We started feeding Ryan cereal at some point last week and much to my surprise, he took to it like a little bird. I remember with the other boys, it was so hard at first, they would just let it run back out of their months or bite the spoon and not let me have it back. But Ryan figured out what it was and couldn't get enough. This is good, because the one thing I have continued to worry about (ok, not the one thing, more like the one of a thousand things) is his appetite, which I don't perceive to be anywhere near what the older boys had. He can go completely through the night, 12 hours and wake up ready for the day, not screaming an looking for food. He seems to be growing and is happy, so I haven't risked a weigh in at the pediatrician's office, but I just worry that his little body isn't telling him what he needs. Like I said, he seems fine otherwise, he is even sitting up on his own. It's always hard to tell exactly when to call this milestone, he is still a little wobbly, but getting better every day. He continues to amaze me, hitting the milestones thus far at the same time or even early then his brothers. Unbelievable when you think he spent his first 2 months on his back, with no tummy time and less then ideal 02 sats for most of it. He has obviously moved past it all, I just wish I could say the same. I still find myself dwelling on the whole experience. I just can't seem to get it out of my mind. I met a new mom the other day and I told myself before hand that I wasn't going to mention his heart or the hospital time, but every thing we talked about made me think of it in some way or another and although I almost made it, I ended up cracking at the very end. This sounds very cliche, like a bad country song, but it's like his heart is fixed and I don't know if mine will ever be the same. In other goings on, Grant has apparently developed his first crush. We were watching, wait for it, Star Wars and a scene with Padme (the beautiful ex-queen now senator from Naboo) came on and he started giggling, then walked up and kissed the TV screen. We all just about lost it.

Hard Lessons to Learn

As someone who never imagined being the mother of 3, I have to say things go pretty well 90% of the time. But the thing is, when things start to go bad, they go way bad and they go quick. We don't often leave the house during the week, I want to keep Ryan away from crowds and germs and I usually spend my 2 non-working days on laundry and other house stuff, but Friday something got into me and I decided to go to Paradise Park and like I said, things went surprisingly well. Ryan watched the boys, then fell asleep and the boys played well together and with some other kids that were there, until the end where Ryan woke up screaming, Kyle realized he left his jacket and had a melt down and Grant just went flying out the door and across the parking lot. Things didn't improve once when we got home to a house littered with toys and a 3 year old refusing to help pick up. We said if he was two tired to pick up, he was to tired to watch our Friday night movie which didn't phase him until the movie started at which point he started to scream. I was trying to feed Ryan and reiterate to him that he wasn't watching the movie while tying the belt of Kyle's Anakin Skywalker costume (the movie was Clone Wars which he had been excited about seeing all week, I felt bad that the experience was less the ideal, he kept saying that the didn't care if he had to pick up all the toys himself, to just let Grant come out and watch). I think it's more frustrating because I think about what Ryan went through and how lucky we are and all the blogs and stories I have read of other heart kids that aren't nearly as lucky and I think I should be a different parent, a better parent who appreciates how lucky I am. I guess I at least realize that and while it doesn't keep me from having the bad times, it keeps them from lasting to long. Anyways, the picture was obviously not taken on Friday, but is the first I have mangaged to capture of all 3 of them since Ryan's been off O2. It was kind a warm up for a Christmas card picture.

5 Months!

So the title of this blog is Ryan's Hope and he is very seldom featured anymore which is a shame because he is really an amazing baby.  I hate to say anything to jinx myself, but he is sleeping through the night, actually through the evening night and part of the morning, he usually goes down around 8 and sleeps through until 6.  I was actually worried for awhile, that it could mean something is wrong, but he wakes up happy and is awake and alert for most of the day.   Whenever you lay him down, he immediately rolls over to his tummy and then squirms around.  The only time he holds his feet like in the picture is when he is on the changing table.  Looking at that pic, I realized you can barely see his scar, it has healed really well, very flat and smooth.  The other pic shows him holding his own bottle.  He only takes a bottle a couple of times a week, so I was really surprised to see him doing that so early.   We are all really enjoying our last baby, but I know we are done because it's such a good feeling to move outgrown clothes and gear into the garage sale pile.  Work is picking up for me, I should actually be working now so I am not to tired to enjoy my day at home with the boys tomorrow.

 

Mr. Responsibility and Darth Maul

Kyle was chosen by his teacher last week to receive an award for the character trait of the month, responsibility.  He was of course very excited when he came home and told me that he was receiving an award at the assembly.  When I asked for what, he replied "Because I am the most responsibility".  I got to go to the assembly and see for myself and I just can't believe what a big kid he has become.  He was the only one from his class to get the award and I was very proud of him, even if he left his jacket on the bus that very day.  Also attached are pictures of Jason's incredible pumpkins, if only we could parlay his gourd carving abilities into a sustainable income stream.  The kids had a good time, Grant vehemently refused to pick out a costume the two times we took him to Target to do so, Kyle got so frustrated, he wanted him to be Yoda to his Anakin Skywalker.  He said, "Grant, you are like the Grinch that Stole Christmas only with Halloween, you are the Halloween Grinch".  Grant did however have a last minute change of heart and put on Kyle's old Spiderman costume for the night.  Ryan was a very good sport about wearing the cutest little dragon costume and Lilly was a bewildered punk rocker.