random

I am starting to feel the bitter part of the bitter sweet end to nursing.  I guess it was just so unexpected, I nursed the older boys well into the 12 month and had to really work at weaning.  I never thought Ryan would just stop, on his own 2 months shy of his first birthday and leave me feeling so, I don't know, rejected I guess.  But I guess nothing with Ryan has ever really gone as expected.  It amazes me how different he can be.  Kyle and Grant were typical into everything babies, but they never went for the toilet.  Ryan on the other hand makes a bee line that way any time I turn my back.  I am trying to look at not nursing in a positive light and realize it gives Jason a chance to feed him bottles, something that I think he enjoyed for the first 3 months only to have snatched away when we got the go ahead to ditch the fortified breast milk.  It's hard though, I would give anything for one more night to cuddle up with him in my room.  The picture is not me looking my best, but I love the light on Ryan's little face.  The other two are very random.  One is Jason's orchid which bloomed this week.  We picked it out for his birthday, last year, meaning that it has taken about 56 weeks to bloom.  I personally would have given up around 20, but not Jason, he kept tending to what to me seemed and empty pot with some sticks sticking up and look at the result.  The other is a picture Kyle drew after Pipa Smith and Grandma Deb took him to a motorcycle race in St. Louis a couple of weekends ago.  To say my dad and step mom are not picture taking type people is an understatement and this is the only record of what I think was a great trip.  They went to the rode the metro link to the race, ate at Cracker Barrel twice and went to the top of the arch.  He has just gotten so independent, I don't think he had any problems on the overnight trip at all.  I guess that makes 2 of my boys that are growing up too fast.